I can help if you are:
- grieving any type of loss ~ however long ago
- in any painful transition place
- feeling stuck in your grief and wanting to recover your resilience
- open to using your wounds as for fuel for transformation
- struggling to live with abortion, miscarriage, stillbirth or child loss
- craving support from someone who knows grief personally
- desiring completion so that you can move on
- wanting to explore the continuance of life after death
- keen to open to the resources of your inner life
My grief experience
Having lived through the death by drowning of my first son, Benjaya, followed by two miscarriages and the deaths of several other loved ones, I have come to believe that the process of grief is akin to alchemy ~ defined as ‘The art of transmutation from base metal to gold’. I particularly resonate with the quote, ‘In order to test gold, you have to see it through the fire’. I have survived and emerged from this fire with an unshakable trust in grief as a transformative tool and a desire to help and witness others as they break through rather than break down. I personally embrace the bigger picture, what some call the spiritual dimension, in my life and work but share this only when appropriate. Writing two books focussed on healing from loss and grief and interviewing extraordinary people about how they healed through trauma has taught me a great deal.
When the towers of my world had come crashing down with the loss of both my child and a relationship, I was guided to find Carmella. She helped me to consciously rebuild my life and I am now blessed with a wonderful wife, and three amazing children! Thank you so much Carmella for gently guiding me to be the man I am now. Marcus Bawdon (Photographer, Devon, UK)
About Grief Support Sessions
Grief has countless sources and I support anyone bereaved or bereft in any way. Often parents are drawn to me who have ‘lost’ babies or children and I find these connections particularly poignant. Each session I will open to discover what you need; everyone is different and needs are constantly changing. I will listen compassionately to your story when you are ready to tell it, but am particularly interested in: what is live now that needs witnessing, supporting or transforming and how I can help you use this window of opportunity to piece yourself back together in a stronger formation. I will draw on experience and resources gathered over 30 years of working with personal transformation, grief and relationship building and if something comes to me to say, I would like to be free to say it. I believe that once you choose to work with me, we are in the healing process together and that I can be a conduit of insight to add to your own. Feel free to test out one introductory session, then book further times one at a time or have an ongoing regular slot until you feel a completion of the need for my support. You can book for 1 hour or 1.5 hours (costs below).
In person or online
Sessions are available both in person at my home in Totnes, Devon UK and online on Zoom at the same cost. If you live locally, I recommend that we meet face to face, especially if you are in intense grief. If online, you will be asked to connect from a quiet room with no distractions, with tissues and perhaps a notebook/journal on hand.
Many grief clients within reach of Totnes choose to also experience TRE (Tension and Trauma release Exercises) with me because this body-centred tool is invaluable to release traumatic bodily imprints that are too deep for words to reach. https://www.heartofrelating.com/my-services/tre/
I was initially apprehensive as to how long-distance counselling would work. I wondered if the physical distance might make it difficult to share important feelings and understandings. Not at all ~ it has been great and worked wonderfully. I can recommend it with no hesitation. Movement Therapist (Solihull, UK)
My Phoenix Library contains books on: resilience, recovery from grief and trauma, personal transformation, preparing for death, and life after death, which you are welcome to borrow if local. I also sell the books I have written (see below) which offer a blueprint for healing from grief.
I live on the other side of the Atlantic to Carmella but when my mother died it was a Godsend to know that she was there with her care and wise words. She kept me sane through a horribly traumatic time. Janet Patti (University Professor, New York)
Cost and Timing
Payment is by sliding scale according to your means. You are asked to tune in to what you can honestly afford.
I offer 1 hour and 1.5 hour sessions. It is recommended, but not essential, that you book 1.5 hours for the first session in order to feel more spacious in the sharing of the bigger picture of what is happening for you. This can then be followed by subsequent hourly appointments, or longer ones if you choose.
Cost range for sessions:
£40 ~ £70 (1 hour)
£50 ~ £80 (1.5 hours)
Speak to me confidentially about what you can afford before the first session. The more generous you are able to be, the more this supports those who presently have less resources.
Payment is by cash at the end of each session or by bank transfer either before the session or within 24 hours, with a ‘payment done’ email so that I can relax into knowing it’s complete. PayPal can be used if need be ([email protected]).
NB. If paying by bank transfer, please create a strategy for remembering.
My preferred way to take bookings is by email: [email protected], but I am happy to arrange to have a short phone or Zoom conversation before booking if this would help you. I don’t work at weekends, unless there is an urgent need.
I ask you to value my time. Please let me know as far in advance as possible if you need to change your appointment. If you simply do not turn up for our session or let me know at the last minute, you will be asked to pay the full agreed amount, so please remember to put the date in your diary/calendar as soon as it’s confirmed.
Recorded for the ‘Our Birth Journey’ platform addressing loss and grief as it arises in the journey from conception to early parenting. Much of the content is transferable to other losses. A second podcast is available to watch via the Articles/Podcasts page https://www.heartofrelating.com/articles/.
Best with headphones. Apologies for the lower volume of Laoise’s voice (the interviewer).
Podcast ~ Thriving Through the Fire of Grief : A Deeper Exploration covers:
- What motivates Carmella to work with grief and what she finds challenging.
- Tips for grieving abortions, miscarriages, stillbirths and baby deaths.
- Self-talk, beliefs, guilt and self-punishment.
- Grieving whilst open rather than contracted; allowing or feeding the grief.
- Will my unborn child (and other children) be affected by my grief? Self-care.
Benjaya’s Gifts is a captivating and intimate true story, which takes us on a journey into the heart of...Read more
Mourning Has Broken is filled with stories told to the author by people from many walks of life and...Read more
HEART OF RELATING enhances relationships by providing nitty-gritty answers to these three questions… and more: 1. How do I recognise...Read more